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tkwalker
04-08-2020, 12:34 PM
"Deep Thoughts" for the times

Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem. Myself, I have already achieved status as an amazing drinker with a cooking problem.

1. If being isolated with no close friends seems normal, you could be me.

2. I used to spin the toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I’m cracking a safe.

3. I need to practice social distancing from . . . the refrigerator.

4. Still haven’t decided where to go for Easter . . . The Living Room or The Bedroom.

5. Every few days, try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believing all is well in the kingdom.

6. Homeschooling is going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job!

7. I don’t think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we’d go from Standard Time to Twilight Zone.

8. This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into the house, told my dog . . . we laughed a lot.

9. So, after this quarantine, will the producers of My 600 Pound Life just find me or do I find them?

10. Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business!

11. My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet.

12. Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat.

13. Day 6 of Homeschooling: My child just said “I hope I don’t have the same teacher next year.” I’m offended.


Stay safe, stay healthy. Happiness can be found when fishing!